...But not really! Howdy Delights! Not sure how I forgot to blog yesterday. I kept thinking about it, too. And convinced myself that I had already blogged early in the a.m. I'm a chaotic mess. Here's my current chaos: My sister's 40th birthday party is taking place here at the end of September. Last week, I sent out a message to all guests that I won't be hosting any slumber parties, so folks need to get hotel rooms. (Please note that I've been in communication with my fam for 7-8 months about making hotel accommodations) 2 days later, I decided that was kind of an a-hole move by me because I know my aunt really can't afford a room for 3-4 nights. So, I invited her, my mama, and my sis to stay with me & feel super anxious about it. My aunt and sister are fine. My mama... well, she drives me BONKERS like nobody else can. At some point, I may find myself staying in a hotel just so I can get a break from her. All that madness is anxiety-causer numero uno. Numero Dos: Yesterday I get a call from one of my lovely creditors who reminded me I missed a payment. I never miss a payment, but somehow overlooked this one. Ugh. Not so pissed that I missed a payment, but am pissed that I spent like a crazy lady in August even though I vowed (and vow, and vowed, and whine about) doing better financially. So, there I am transferring $ from checking to savings to make a payment. I suck! I feel broke. I hate to feel broke. I am broke...maybe. Ugh. There are worse things. And the upside is at least I had a little bit of savings to transfer from. Are you all thinking, "No big deal. Yes, you had money to pay the bill."? Cause that's what I would be thinking, too. Because this caused me more anxiety than I would have liked, I had to really evaluate the feeling behind the anxiety. And it's my fear of being broke and not having enough money to live, retire, hang out, buy groceries, etc... This is a huge FEAR of mine. And I keep bringing it on myself. Ugh. I'm disappointed & angry & just afraid. I had to tap in to my inner TAPS and say to myself, "Hey, it's a new day. Do better!" And that's what I'll do.
By the by, I did nothing on my list from yesterday/Sunday but relax and get a massage. However, I did apply for a job. Maybe even two. I am determined to go in to 2012 being paid my worth. Even if part of my salary comes in gold bars. Oh, I've also decided not to attend or be part of a wedding next May. Other friends and I were planning a trip to Italy for quite some time, and then one of my BFF's (and I'm using that sorta loosely) springs her wedding on me. I've been battling over this decision for a while & decided to go ahead with my Italy plans. Hope she takes the news okay. I'm calling her today. Thanks for listening gals!
Goals for Today:
= Try not to be too pissy due to lack of sleep. No promises, though.
= Try not to be too pissy due to lack of sleep & exercise.
= Try not to go all pissy pants on anyone.
= Smile!
Enjoy the day!
2 comments:
That was nice of you! My Mom drives me nuts after a couple of days too...I think that's what they're supposed to do. :/ Good luck!
Thanks Annette! My friend makes the best sangria, so that should help get me through!
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